Episodes

Ask Rachel anything Just under half a million teenagers will start university this autumn in the UK alone. Whilst it might be an exciting time for the teenager, the family left behind can be left reeling with a sense of grief and loss. We talk about what you might be feeling and how best to deal with it. Also, Alex has asked us to take a look at what we should be saying to our teens about manners. We talk about what they are and what they say about you as a person. &...

Ask Rachel anything Can you imagine a TV presenter wearing the same blue suit on-screen for 12 months and nobody noticing, or commenting? Well in Australia, Karl Stefanovic did exactly this to make a point about the different standards men and women are held to. He says whilst his female colleagues were often messaged about what they were wearing, in his case nobody even mentioned his clothing. All the messages were about how he did his job. This is the difficult world our teena...

Ask Rachel anything Can you imagine a TV presenter wearing the same blue suit on-screen for 12 months and nobody noticing, or commenting? Well in Australia, Karl Stefanovic did exactly this to make a point about the different standards men and women are held to. He says whilst his female colleagues were often messaged about what they were wearing, in his case nobody even mentioned his clothing. All the messages were about how he did his job. This is the difficult world our teena...

Ask Rachel anything In all honesty, very few of us thought about our partner's possible parenting style when we began dating them. I know that I didn't. It's mostly romance and blind hope at that stage. By the time the subject really comes into focus we're already in the thick of parenting. Louise has asked us to talk about this, and we loved the topic because so many of us lack the skills to successfully navigate a happy path with a partner who sees things differently. We talk about why co...

Ask Rachel anything In all honesty, very few of us thought about our partner's possible parenting style when we began dating them. I know that I didn't. It's mostly romance and blind hope at that stage. By the time the subject really comes into focus we're already in the thick of parenting. Louise has asked us to talk about this, and we loved the topic because so many of us lack the skills to successfully navigate a happy path with a partner who sees things differently. We talk about why co...

Ask Rachel anything Drugs are everywhere; whether they are being peddled by pharmaceutical companies to fix medical problems, used as performance enhancers, or just for kicks, there's a really high chance that our teens will be offered them by someone. The big question is how can we talk to our teens about them in a way that discourages dangerous habits or situations whilst letting them know that they can come to us for help and advice about what they're seeing and doing? We discuss what d...

Ask Rachel anything Drugs are everywhere; whether they are being peddled by pharmaceutical companies to fix medical problems, used as performance enhancers, or just for kicks, there's a really high chance that our teens will be offered them by someone. The big question is how can we talk to our teens about them in a way that discourages dangerous habits or situations whilst letting them know that they can come to us for help and advice about what they're seeing and doing? We discuss what d...

Ask Rachel anything As a parent, have you ever felt overwhelmed by the sheer size of your job and the range of the responsibilities it involves? Do you ever feel like you've done enough, or are you always suffering with the nagging feeling that you are falling short and it's your fault that things aren't perfect? Well Clare certainly has, so she asked us to talk about Mom guilt. What we discovered has blown our minds. Also, have you ever had that horrible feeling that your teenager is ...

Ask Rachel anything As a parent, have you ever felt overwhelmed by the sheer size of your job and the range of the responsibilities it involves? Do you ever feel like you've done enough, or are you always suffering with the nagging feeling that you are falling short and it's your fault that things aren't perfect? Well Clare certainly has, so she asked us to talk about Mom guilt. What we discovered has blown our minds. Also, have you ever had that horrible feeling that your teenager is ...

Ask Rachel anything Have you ever caught your teenager lying to you? Let's face it, lying is part of everyday life. In fact an entire film was made on the premise of a lawyer incapable of telling a lie for 24 hours. The result is comedy, but we all know that it can be serious. Our challenge is teaching kids to be truthful to us when it matters, and to be able to tell the difference between the sorts of lies that oil relationships in a healthy way and the ones that will ultimately...

Ask Rachel anything Have you ever caught your teenager lying to you? Let's face it, lying is part of everyday life. In fact an entire film was made on the premise of a lawyer incapable of telling a lie for 24 hours. The result is comedy, but we all know that it can be serious. Our challenge is teaching kids to be truthful to us when it matters, and to be able to tell the difference between the sorts of lies that oil relationships in a healthy way and the ones that will ultimately...

Ask Rachel anything Do you have a teen at home who's all sweet and loving with one parent, but treats the other like they're a bad smell? Karen says she feels like running away because she's walking on eggshells in her own house, with a daughter who is rude to her but sweet and kind to her husband. Why do they do it and how can we, as both a parent and partner, make things better for everyone? Also, it's been around since the Ancients: Personal expression using hair dyes, make-up, nai...

Ask Rachel anything Do you have a teen at home who's all sweet and loving with one parent, but treats the other like they're a bad smell? Karen says she feels like running away because she's walking on eggshells in her own house, with a daughter who is rude to her but sweet and kind to her husband. Why do they do it and how can we, as both a parent and partner, make things better for everyone? Also, it's been around since the Ancients: Personal expression using hair dyes, make-up, nai...

Ask Rachel anything When we covered the issues of friendship groups, with girls in mind, we had a massive reaction from parents who have been struggling to understand what's going on. Now it's the turn of boys. When friendships work, they are extremely beneficial, but what causes boys to struggle with their mates, and how can we help them? Also, how do you deal with swearing in your family? Is it absolutely forbidden, does it matter who's doing it and when, or are you all a bit potty-mouthed...

Ask Rachel anything When we covered the issues of friendship groups, with girls in mind, we had a massive reaction from parents who have been struggling to understand what's going on. Now it's the turn of boys. When friendships work, they are extremely beneficial, but what causes boys to struggle with their mates, and how can we help them? Also, how do you deal with swearing in your family? Is it absolutely forbidden, does it matter who's doing it and when, or are you all a bit potty-mouthed...

Ask Rachel anything The rate of self-harm among young children in the UK has doubled over the last six years according to recent research compiled by the British Broadcasting Corporation. Keith Hawton, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Oxford, told File on 4 the data on self-harm was “in keeping with what we’re finding from our research databases. It’s almost as though the problem is spreading down the age range. One analysis of self-injury behaviour across more than 40 co...

Ask Rachel anything The rate of self-harm among young children in the UK has doubled over the last six years according to recent research compiled by the British Broadcasting Corporation. Keith Hawton, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Oxford, told File on 4 the data on self-harm was “in keeping with what we’re finding from our research databases. It’s almost as though the problem is spreading down the age range. One analysis of self-injury behaviour across more than 40 co...

Ask Rachel anything The anxiety epidemic: In 2020 the UK charity Mental Health Foundation surveyed more than 2,000 children and found 50 per cent of teenagers aged 13-19 were experiencing anxiety they found hard to control. Suggested books: · The Anxiety Workbook for Teens: Activities to Help You Deal with Anxiety and Worry · Breaking free from Childhood Anxiety and OCD, Eli Lebowitz. The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt https:...

Ask Rachel anything The anxiety epidemic: In 2020 the UK charity Mental Health Foundation surveyed more than 2,000 children and found 50 per cent of teenagers aged 13-19 were experiencing anxiety they found hard to control. Suggested books: · The Anxiety Workbook for Teens: Activities to Help You Deal with Anxiety and Worry · Breaking free from Childhood Anxiety and OCD, Eli Lebowitz. The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt https:...

Ask Rachel anything WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT. Pornography is probably as old as art itself. Whether you indulge, or wouldn't go near it, there has never been a time when it is more graphic, or readily available to children and teens, with the knock-on impact on their own attitudes towards sex and relationships. Just for context, an unbelievable 42 billion individual visitors accessed Pornhub in 2019, averaging more than 115 million visits per day, and that was before Covid-19. That'...

Ask Rachel anything WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT. Pornography is probably as old as art itself. Whether you indulge, or wouldn't go near it, there has never been a time when it is more graphic, or readily available to children and teens, with the knock-on impact on their own attitudes towards sex and relationships. Just for context, an unbelievable 42 billion individual visitors accessed Pornhub in 2019, averaging more than 115 million visits per day, and that was before Covid-19. That'...

Ask Rachel anything A definition of bullying: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3918673/ Negative physical, verbal, or relational actions that (a) have hostile intent, (b) cause distress to the victim, (c) are repeated and (d) involve a power imbalance between perpetrators and victims. What researchers have learned about it: There is no single profile of a young person involved in bullying. Youth who bully can be either well connected socially or marginalized, and may be bu...

Ask Rachel anything A definition of bullying: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3918673/ Negative physical, verbal, or relational actions that (a) have hostile intent, (b) cause distress to the victim, (c) are repeated and (d) involve a power imbalance between perpetrators and victims. What researchers have learned about it: There is no single profile of a young person involved in bullying. Youth who bully can be either well connected socially or marginalized, and may be bu...

Ask Rachel anything Lone parenting: One of Susie’s superpowers has been raising three kids alone, so this time we look at some of the issues of lone parents, and some top tips for managing well. We talk about positive modelling of the opposite sex, the stresses on teenagers and how to support them, and how to use mindfulness to find your way through the stresses of doing it alone. Links to resources I dipped into are below. We’d love to hear if there are any specific issues you’d like t...