Episodes

Ask Rachel anything The stress of parenting doesn’t go away when they’re teenagers, it just changes. We may have more physical space, but finding mental space can often feel impossible. In this episode we talk about the tools we can use to manage parenting stress, and why paying attention to our own health should be at the top of our list, not the bottom. Links to resources used: Window of tolerance: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/hypoarousal-hyperarousal https://www.ted.com/talks/h...

Ask Rachel anything Nicotine is considered highly addictive, and sales of vapes to teens are illegal, but the numbers of teens vaping nicotine in countries around the world are causing great concern. In America, the FDA called it an epidemic and is cracking down on the marketing and illegal sales of e-cigarettes to minors. France’s anti-tobacco lobby called for the immediate ban of a brand of flavoured, disposable e-cigarettes - that are cheap and look like highlighters - which have b...

Ask Rachel anything Nicotine is considered highly addictive, and sales of vapes to teens are illegal, but the numbers of teens vaping nicotine in countries around the world are causing great concern. In America, the FDA called it an epidemic and is cracking down on the marketing and illegal sales of e-cigarettes to minors. France’s anti-tobacco lobby called for the immediate ban of a brand of flavoured, disposable e-cigarettes - that are cheap and look like highlighters - which have b...

Ask Rachel anything The 'social contract' between families and schools has been broken during the pandemic, and ongoing absence of kids is a 'deep and concerning problem' according to Amanda Spielman, chief of the UK schools watchdog. Rates of school refusal and truanting are a huge problem in other countries too. Finding the right approach for dealing with it is crucial, because whatever the reason for missing school it takes a lot of fixing and is a symptom of something else that nee...

Ask Rachel anything The 'social contract' between families and schools has been broken during the pandemic, and ongoing absence of kids is a 'deep and concerning problem' according to Amanda Spielman, chief of the UK schools watchdog. Rates of school refusal and truanting are a huge problem in other countries too. Finding the right approach for dealing with it is crucial, because whatever the reason for missing school it takes a lot of fixing and is a symptom of something else that nee...

Ask Rachel anything We've been asked by a listener to discuss how we talk to our boys about influential online figures like Andrew Tate, who act both as an inspiration to achieve great things, and a lightning rod for disgruntled men who blame feminism for their ills and cheer on his particular form of aggressive misogyny. If you have a son who spends time online he's highly likely to have come across the concepts being bandied around - simply as a result of the algorithms used in...

Ask Rachel anything We've been asked by a listener to discuss how we talk to our boys about influential online figures like Andrew Tate, who act both as an inspiration to achieve great things, and a lightning rod for disgruntled men who blame feminism for their ills and cheer on his particular form of aggressive misogyny. If you have a son who spends time online he's highly likely to have come across the concepts being bandied around - simply as a result of the algorithms used in...

Ask Rachel anything Having kids can seem like a non-stop obstacle/crash course in how you get another living being to do things, whether for their own good or our own sanity. Some of us are lucky enough to have grown up in a family structure which helps us figure out incentives and boundaries that work. Some equate love with giving them what they want, others are so exhausted it's more a matter of giving in. It can feel like we have it figured out, then the teenage years hit and everything ...

Ask Rachel anything Having kids can seem like a non-stop obstacle/crash course in how you get another living being to do things, whether for their own good or our own sanity. Some of us are lucky enough to have grown up in a family structure which helps us figure out incentives and boundaries that work. Some equate love with giving them what they want, others are so exhausted it's more a matter of giving in. It can feel like we have it figured out, then the teenage years hit and everything ...

Ask Rachel anything We've all done it; new year, new me. By January the 11th the lustre has rubbed off our shiny resolutions and we're back to our old habits. The reality is that making resolutions and getting them to stick is harder than we'd like it to be. So how do we make changes in our parenting and our family in a way that will continue to work after the fireworks and fun? In this podcast: We talk about uncovering the intention behind the resolution. How to unpack those b...

Ask Rachel anything We've all done it; new year, new me. By January the 11th the lustre has rubbed off our shiny resolutions and we're back to our old habits. The reality is that making resolutions and getting them to stick is harder than we'd like it to be. So how do we make changes in our parenting and our family in a way that will continue to work after the fireworks and fun? In this podcast: We talk about uncovering the intention behind the resolution. How to unpack those b...

Ask Rachel anything Having your own child can feel like an overwhelming responsibility at times, but when you become a step-parent it's even more complicated. The child may feel resentful because they didn't ask for a new parent, their biological parents are likely to have issues with each other, and then there's our own needs in a new relationship. Ultimately, step-parents can offer a really wonderful addition to the lives of our bonus children. How we go about it can make all ...

Ask Rachel anything Having your own child can feel like an overwhelming responsibility at times, but when you become a step-parent it's even more complicated. The child may feel resentful because they didn't ask for a new parent, their biological parents are likely to have issues with each other, and then there's our own needs in a new relationship. Ultimately, step-parents can offer a really wonderful addition to the lives of our bonus children. How we go about it can make all ...

Ask Rachel anything Parties can be life-enhancing, joyous, and a wonderful chance to meet new people, but when it's for a teenager it can have a touch of the wild west about it. For parents who understand the risks it can feel easier to say no, but if we think through all of the issues - and discuss them with our teens - there's far less chance things will go horribly wrong. Our website has a free checklist of things to cover when planning your party. RESOURCES USED: https://ra...

Ask Rachel anything Parties can be life-enhancing, joyous, and a wonderful chance to meet new people, but when it's for a teenager it can have a touch of the wild west about it. For parents who understand the risks it can feel easier to say no, but if we think through all of the issues - and discuss them with our teens - there's far less chance things will go horribly wrong. Our website has a free checklist of things to cover when planning your party. RESOURCES USED: https://ra...

Ask Rachel anything Christmas is marketed as a time of magic and joy, but when it comes to your teenagers does it feel more like pressure - to deliver expensive gifts - and disappointment? One of our regular listeners has asked us to research and discuss how to deal better with their lack of gratitude when things don't live up to their expectations. RESOURCES: https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/GGSC-JTF_White_Paper-Gratitude-FINAL.pdfhttps://www.parentingforbrain.com...

Ask Rachel anything Christmas is marketed as a time of magic and joy, but when it comes to your teenagers does it feel more like pressure - to deliver expensive gifts - and disappointment? One of our regular listeners has asked us to research and discuss how to deal better with their lack of gratitude when things don't live up to their expectations. RESOURCES: https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/GGSC-JTF_White_Paper-Gratitude-FINAL.pdfhttps://www.parentingforbrain.com...

Ask Rachel anything Our teens have been dubbed Generation Isolation by the UK charity OnSide. It follows a poll which showed that 77% of young people spend most of their free time at home and 73% spend most of their free time on screens. The charity says that while online communication is important and has some benefits, its dominance means young people are missing out on the face-to-face interactions that build social skills, confidence, self-esteem, resilience and empathy. &nbs...

Ask Rachel anything Our teens have been dubbed Generation Isolation by the UK charity OnSide. It follows a poll which showed that 77% of young people spend most of their free time at home and 73% spend most of their free time on screens. The charity says that while online communication is important and has some benefits, its dominance means young people are missing out on the face-to-face interactions that build social skills, confidence, self-esteem, resilience and empathy. &nbs...

Ask Rachel anything 'Today's teenagers are far more hopeless than anything humanity has ever produced before,' according to Jeremy Clarkson, former presenter of Top Gear. He's talking about generation Z, which is the label for those born between 1997 and 2012 and the first to grow up entirely connected to the internet. His claim is that 'the offensive word today's entitled teens have never heard is 'no'. ' There are many articles about entitled teens, yet there are statistics that show they...

Ask Rachel anything 'Today's teenagers are far more hopeless than anything humanity has ever produced before,' according to Jeremy Clarkson, former presenter of Top Gear. He's talking about generation Z, which is the label for those born between 1997 and 2012 and the first to grow up entirely connected to the internet. His claim is that 'the offensive word today's entitled teens have never heard is 'no'. ' There are many articles about entitled teens, yet there are statistics that show they...

Ask Rachel anything We've all heard about the phenomenon of a midlife crisis, but it's the teenage years when we first really become aware of our identity. For some, the sense of who we are beneath the roles we play is never a big issue. For others, the shift in perception can result in all sorts of problems. Battles at home if they're boxed into an identity they feel they don't fit, or difficulties at school where trying to fit into a social group can mean losing track of who they really a...

Ask Rachel anything We've all heard about the phenomenon of a midlife crisis, but it's the teenage years when we first really become aware of our identity. For some, the sense of who we are beneath the roles we play is never a big issue. For others, the shift in perception can result in all sorts of problems. Battles at home if they're boxed into an identity they feel they don't fit, or difficulties at school where trying to fit into a social group can mean losing track of who they really a...

Ask Rachel anything Just under half a million teenagers will start university this autumn in the UK alone. Whilst it might be an exciting time for the teenager, the family left behind can be left reeling with a sense of grief and loss. We talk about what you might be feeling and how best to deal with it. Also, Alex has asked us to take a look at what we should be saying to our teens about manners. We talk about what they are and what they say about you as a person. &...