It's so tempting to go into 'fix it' mode when our kids are talking to us about their world. We know so much, we've lived so much. We love our kids. Of course we want to give them everything we've learned.
But when we try to tell our tween or teenager what we know, or offer advice, what they hear is a lack of care, a lack of respect, a lack of understanding.
The most loving thing we can do is to listen and ask questions, even if we already know what they're telling us. When we do this with the trivia of their lives, and genuinely listen, our kids feel 'seen' and believe that they can come to us with bigger problems.
My daughter told me years ago that the reason most kids don't tell their parents anything is because they either think their parent doesn't care or because they are scared their parent will overreact and they'll have to manage their parent's feelings.
Be the parent who can sit with your child, whatever their feelings and thoughts. Trust me, it pays back in love and connection.