Our teenagers are growing up in a world of Tik Tok, You Tube and Instagram, places full of barely dressed people talking freely about body positivity and sex. It’s hardly surprising that they might have a different view of what’s acceptable, from their parents.
In the UK, sex is legal at age 16, but any sexual images of a person under 18 are deemed child pornography, even when the person sending them is the creator. Sexting is the sending, receiving, or forwarding of sexually explicit images of oneself to others.
Research compiled in the UK for Cultureframed.org:
1 in 7 under 18’s sends sext messages; 1 in 4 receives them. 1 in 8 who received a message has sent it to others without the sender’s consent.
Internet Watch Foundation, https://www.iwf.org.uk/ (which is tasked with removing these digital images) confirmed 68,000 cases of self-generated imagery that needed to be removed in 2020– a rise of 77% on the previous year.
In 80% of these cases, the victims were 11 to 13-year-old girls and fewer than 8% of young women send nude pics because they genuinely want to.
Why do they sext?
• Seeking someone’s approval
• Long distance/online relationships, where there is a desire to have a sexual relationship
• Feeling confident in their looks and they want to share with other people
• Peer pressure
• Fun
• Feeling pressured to sext as a way of proving their sexuality
• As a result of harassment, threats or blackmail
What to do?
Having regular talks about relationships, sex and consent with your child can help protect them. It’s important to use open questions, actively listen, and never be shocked.
• What do they post about themselves?
• What sites do they use and what draws them there?
• What types of attention are they looking for online and from whom?
• How do they decide what information to share?
Start young! Don’t leave it because you think your child is too immature. If they have a phone, they have the power to allow a wolf into their bedroom.
Set clear guidelines and firewalls.
Boys?
Adolescent boys are under enormous pressure to impress their peers. Academics, Sports, Sex.
• Ask boys why they would feel entitled to ask for these photos, knowing the pitfalls.
• Ask them what pressures they feel from their friends and porn culture.
• Do they know that it’s illegal to disseminate or ask for nude images of under age people?
Signs things have gone wrong.
Teenagers becoming more withdrawn, acting differently, or changes in mood and eating habits.
· Speak to the school and parents of the other teenager to the get the material removed.
· The IWF can search for explicit images or videos of your child and remove them.
· Tell your girls about the #gurlsoutloud support hashtag.
A free service to remove pictures of under 18’s online. https://takeitdown.ncmec.org/
Book: When You Lose It, Roxy and Gay Longworth.
Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/teenagersuntangled)
Thanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk