Transcript
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Hello and welcome to teenagers untangled the audio hug for parents going through the teenage years. I'm Rachel Richards, journalist, parenting coach, mother of two teenagers and two bonus daughters. Hi,
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I'm Suzy Asli mindfulness coach, mindful therapist, musician and mother of three teenagers, two of them are twins.
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We've been contacted by a listener who has a really tricky situation, the father of her son is pretty much absent and an alcoholic, although I'm not sure whether he's in and out of this, this son's life, she wants to know how best to support him with his feelings. And I thought it would be nice. Rather than only focusing on one specific scenario, we'll talk about this generally, in terms of inconsistency of the other parent. Perceived rejection, lack of a role model and how it might affect them. So and also alcoholism, which is a major issue, substance abuse of any type. And you've got some experience having a parent who's not living in the homes, you know, that you can draw on. So yeah,
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and massive. Yeah, compassion for her. That must be really, really, really hard,
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really hard and very triggering for you, when you're the parent who's there giving all the love. Let's start with a couple of reviews. But then I also want to rather than nuggets just come back to the subject of getting kids back into school because one listener said they'd like to hear a little bit more on that. We could do an entire episode. We have already done an episode about absence score. But it would be nice to just kind of go over it again. Briefly. Yeah, it's been up in the news quite a lot. Yes, exactly. Exactly. And we've got we've had a very active Instagram account of people talking about the experiences they've had. Anyway, with reviews. Susie, would you like to start with yours?
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I would love to it's very nice reviewing or they always are. Hi, lovely ladies.
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Oh, hi. I really enjoyed the most recent episode. It was just like having a chat with a friend about what's been going on in life and discussing topical issues. Things that we have experienced or think are important to share in parenting teens. I really appreciate and value your advice, help and support and my highs and lows as a mom of a tween. I'm looking forward to this year's episodes and how they enhance and help grow my parenting toolkit hugs Ray.
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Hey, thank you.
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And thank you for being one of the few people who've well actually no, we had quite a few people who fed back on that chatty Oh, yeah, episode. Almost all of it was positive. Not all of it. But some of you know most people said, yeah, we'd like more. So we're not going to flood it with it. But every now and then we'll do it. We'll do a sort of mop up what's been going on and reflecting on our own parenting. This is from Veronique, actually, which came in from a WhatsApp message. And she said, you're providing super valuable content. I listened to one of your podcast today. I so love your voice, literally beautiful voice and figuratively, from a content point of view. You're providing super valuable content without judgment. But the way you explain and talk together, the flow of the conversation helps me to see the pros and cons of parental decisions and positions and decide which could be mine.
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Wow. She's spot on, though.
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That's the thing, because actually, have you listened to people talking? You don't necessarily agree, you know, but you can figure out okay, actually, Where do I sit with my on it? And that's the whole point. So well done, Veronique.
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Thank you for spotting what it is that we're trying to do?
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Because sometimes I think it's not clear is it? So let's just go back to this issue of getting our kids back into school because I know that there's it can be really angry there can be really anxious. And I know I've got a friend who's struggling with her daughter who is always crying the before she goes to school, she's really struggling with it. And
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so upsetting, isn't it as a parent, I'm
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just so upset.
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It's so upsetting. And they're both working parents, they have looked at other options, but there's nothing available at the moment. And what I think they're doing so well is they're sitting her down and really going through with her what is going on. And I think that's the key.
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So when our kids are saying I don't want to get back to school, you did a really great thing last week where you just said so I just say Is there nothing, nothing good about sort of giving the sense that actually they do quite enjoy something. There must
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be something there must be build on that. Even if it's I like the break time snack. Yes.
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And I think looking back to the anxiety podcast, we did quite a long episode we did quite a long time ago, I in that I included the iceberg. And actually it's quite useful sometimes to get sort of drawn iceberg. And then just talk about like, this is how you're feeling. So what's underneath that? What, what and go through all the details of what's happening in school, what are the relationships like is it specific classes, is it so because very often, even we adults find it hard to articulate what we're struggling with? Yes. And giving your child an opportunity to really unpick what's happening may give them more resources to deal with and it could be an emotional objection, which is much harder to deal with. But it could be that there are things that you can speak to the school about that they could be doing much better. Yeah,
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or there is just one out aspect of their day that has become massive in their head.
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And if they sit down and realize, actually, it's only that one thing, and it somehow feels a bit more manageable.
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Yes. And I think we talked about it in the anxiety I said, which was years ago. And this idea that, you know, we want to stay in our comfort zones. And as parents, it's really nice to keep our kids in their comfort zones, because it feels nicer.
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And we feel scared for them.
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Yeah. And sometimes we have to, you know, if we just if we just as human beings stay in our comfort zones, we don't try anything new. And our zone gets smaller and smaller. So there is an element of nudging and going right, come on, you know, and with you, you've got to step out a little bit. But the problem I think, is if you've tried that, and it's still it's that didn't help, because that can be really helpful. Okay, I survived, I was fine. Actually, do you know what I think I'm going to be okay.
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But if you've tried that, and that hasn't helped, and then more support or something else is needed?
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Absolutely. And I know that there are a lot of parents who are very upset by the lack of support they're getting from some of their schools, I think some of the schools are struggling with not having enough teachers and not having enough support. So this is a really tricky situation, I, my heart goes out to anybody who's struggling with it, and
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who's don't have the resources to have the teachers, you know, give them that extra care and attention that maybe they need in the morning. So you know, whenever they're struggling, and they just can't do it.
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But I do think the communication with the school is absolutely critical.
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Because the more detail you can give to them about what's actually happening, or it could be something that's completely separate from school, but it's really affected them. If the school understands the Gnosis, they will probably give them a bit more leeway. So for example, my bonus daughter, you know, when she found out her mother had cancer, she said, it was amazing how well the school understood that and gave her a lot more opportunities to cope.
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Yeah, so unit, and that's a very obvious one, but it might be something else. So it's, I think this communication is critical.
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And we as parents can kind of, we have the time at home to pin down the specific things that are happening. And one mother I spoke to said that her daughter was struggling with the break times when she had to go into this common room. And she said, We just made sure she had an activity. Instead, she joined activities that were happening during that time, so she didn't have to go in the common room.
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Great. Okay, they they solved it. Yes. It's not always that easy. But you know, these are some of the things you can do.
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If you want a full episode on this, we can do that just message us. Yeah. Okay. Back to this parenting issue with the father, who's mostly absent, inconsistent alcoholic. And so one of the first things I want to mention is a theory, which is called the park theory, or PA RT. And it's called the parental acceptance rejection theory. And I want to start with that, because the whole point about it is that what's most important is how the child feels about the situation rather than necessarily what you independently observe.
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Really important, because it's not always the same. We presume a lot, don't we, we have our adults this natural look on it and have our own issues with it. And it's maybe the child is experiencing it completely differently.
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That's the reason you as a parent, because you're obviously divorce or separation from this person are going to be seeing them through a lens of your own experience of them. But your child may not have the same feelings or opinions at all. And it's very hard not to kind of assume things. Yeah.
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And have you tidied up in your breakdown of it? You know, there's a lot of players.
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Yes.
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And I want to mention this, because one of our listeners said that they had an alcoholic father who took him on holiday when he was 14, just the two of them, proceeded to get drunk all the time. And I said, Gosh, how did that feel? He said, No, I loved it. Because I had access to alcohol I wanted, I wanted to be able to drink.
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And then at the end of the holiday, he got blind drunk. And the next morning, they had to get up and leave and the father went, actually, I'm really like it here. And I've met these gorgeous women. I'm just gonna stay you go home on your own.
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And this was a hungover kind of vomiting staggering 14 years.
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And I said, What How did you feel? And he said, Oh, I just thought it was a badge of honor that he thought I was old enough to get home by myself, even though some old ladies had to sort of escort him onto the couch because he was staggering,
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crushed. And it's so interesting, isn't it? Whereas we presume that he'd feel abandoned and angry, and yeah, yeah, that's
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really his brother experienced that relationship very differently.
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Yes. So we have to be aware, yes, these things are going to be different, right. So what to consider. So one thing that I saw that I thought would be really useful is to have talking points ready. And what I mean by that is, being able to say let's say them, they don't turn up or they're not they don't come they never, they never call or anything, being able to frame it. In a way where the child doesn't believe it's their fault, yes, most important thing because they will feel they can feel rejected. And the way you stop that from happening is you over and over again, reinforce that it's not them. And how you can do that is, for example, if you broke up with your partner, because of, I don't know, you know, you had differences about the way you wanted to live your life or something that's not too detailed and toxic. And you can say, Oh, he's not coming, he's not part of our life. Because we had we don't agree with these things, or we, you know, having a some kind of script that explains it in a way that the teenager doesn't think it's their fault. Yeah,
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because that's their natural go to, it's really, really important that I think you're right, because then rejection is so painful for a child, however old but, you know, when they're younger, and maybe even when they're teenagers, I would imagine it still is, it's a survival thing.
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It's like it's a, it's a gut survival thing you need your parents, and used to do emotionally as a teenager. So when you're rejected, it's, it's almost less painful to blame yourself, than to think that actually they can't be bothered, or they don't want to or that they've rejected you. And if there's something wrong with you, then that's a reason. So that's children often blame themselves because of that, and
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maybe subconsciously, not even knowing that they're doing so. And I think also saying, so for example, with an alcoholic father, you can, you know, rather than saying this as a bad person for being an alcoholic, they are struggling with a substance abuse. And so you say they have some really difficult things that they're struggling with, and they they need their time to go and deal with this.
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It's not about you at all. It's about them. And their problem?
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No, because the kid will think that they're not good enough. Yes, yes. And maybe
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if I was better, they wouldn't be drinking Exactly. Or something.
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It's so important that we are not critical about the person.
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And I think it's incredibly hard to not be critical. That they are we've talked about this before. They are 50% the DNA from that person, and they feel connected. And I think one of the things that I really resonated with me was this idea that you're at home, looking after this child, putting your everything into them, whether it's financial, emotional, whatever you're doing, and then this person comes in and out, are they liable, isn't there and is gleefully off being drunk.
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And it's very hard to step back and say, Why is it not not keep thinking? Why do they idolize this person, when I'm the person doing everything? Yeah, and
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watching them potentially be really affected by us. And you know, you, you get your kid to you mend them from the last time help them and that everything's balanced. And then it happens again, and it's really challenging. And I think that's when the the parent who is the one who is doing the, you know, being at home with the kids and not going off drinking is it's a huge, huge challenge for them to really sit with all of it so that they can be as calm and in control and clear as possible, when the when things happen, because they will so that they don't they're as least reactive as possible, because it's super,
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super triggering. Yes. And we had an episode on how not to overreact.
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But I do also think in situations like this, if you can foster some kind of relationship with someone where you can say, Can I call you and just your mind, because I need someone else I can say this stuff to that isn't isn't my child, and
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also maybe an expectation even, you know, like they, in your own mind, you know, you might really need the parents come and take them away for the weekend, because you've got stuff to do, you can imagine the frustration when they don't show up around, you know, in your own mind have that expectation, they're probably not going to come and have a be plan in your head. So you don't you know, you don't fire off a whole load of, you know, exploitive, so it isn't exactly a religion, all of that.
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And I mean, stick to the facts. You don't need to give them huge, it's not your job to explain why the parent isn't there. It's not your job. It's their job to tell you what you do is you say that the parent isn't I'm really sorry, they haven't arrived this time. I'm sure they have their reasons. I think they're struggling with something. Okay.
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But it's not about you. It's definitely not they are not rejecting you. It's about something that they're dealing with. Yeah, I
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think that's really valid and really, really good. A good way of doing it. You know, I'm sure they have their reasons. It's not about you.
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Yeah, yes.
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And so validating their feelings is really, really important. And I think one of the things I see over and over again, is how important it is to keep reinforcing that. It's not you, it's not you, and let your child know that you're there to listen validate their feeling, their feelings, allow your child to talk, so don't say oh, don't cry. It's okay. If they want to cry. Just say yeah, I can see it's really painful. If they don't want to talk that's also okay because I think a lot of boys, for example, I know this sounds very gendered, but often they don't really want to talk about it. But one of the our listeners said, what they did was they actually did bring a therapist get a therapist involved. And if she saw that he was starting to struggle, a bit, he wasn't talking, she says, Oh, shall I see if they have a gap of space, so you can go and talk to them? And, and then, you know, she'd get an appointment with a therapist, and they'd talk, again, therapist, not always available, but it's, it's, it can be someone else. So getting another role model involved, whether it's a grandparent or friend or someone that they trust, and just being able to say you want to have a quick chat with them.
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Yeah. And also maybe finding out if they're not a great chatter, maybe initially that, you know, maybe they're angry. How can they manage that, you know, maybe it's maybe they're not ready to talk, or maybe they don't know how to talk and you maybe there's something physical, they could do, like, you know, run around or play football or, or do something that is allowing them to be with the discomfort of those feelings, but maybe without putting words to them initially.
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I love that point. And as a mother of sons, you'll know that, I mean, one of the points that one of our listeners said was that she actively encouraged her son to get involved in any kind of sporting activity, where he could vent his his frustration and anger in a healthy way. And you can actively talk about that. You can say, I can imagine that you might be feeling this.
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They may say no, I'm not. But if they aren't, say, yeah, you say, okay, so you could go and punch something you could go and you know, give them healthy things that they could use to vent.
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Yeah. And then maybe they will talk afterwards? Or maybe they won't see. But they've got it out somehow.
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Yes. And once again, that that difficulty where we talked about this in the self harm episode, where one of the difficulties kids have is is and and adults very often is how to what like, what am I feeling? Yeah, framing those feelings. So the more you can look at them and think I think they might be feeling this, or you don't want to push your own opinions onto them. But you could say, you know, some people in your situation might feel this did what do you think? And give them the words that and say this is this would be normal for some people? And so that they've got an idea that that's okay to feel that. Yeah,
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I do also think that you have to get a balance and it because I know some Well, all of us. If we don't want to talk about something, it can be really annoying. For someone to go oh, oh, that must be really disappointing, or, Oh, yes. And sometimes it's really nice and relieving. And sometimes it's just like, No, I'm fine. Go away.
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And when I'm picking up on that, you're right. When I was diagnosed with cancer people when they found out mostly I didn't tell people when people found out they were like, Oh, you are you okay, taunted. Yeah. And I think no, I don't I really don't want to talk about it. I'm good. I'm fine. I'm just going to I'm going to live I'm going to be fine. Yeah. And I think yes, it's especially
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within it and maybe, you know, dip in and out. Yeah,
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I agree.
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Interesting, you know, when it comes to the when it's erratic, so I think this son, his dad's not really around much, but when it can also be erratic, so they can suddenly reappear. Yes. And I read a really interesting thing that said, erratic reinforcement sets kids up to become almost addicted to the unreliable parent. So they get a taste of being with or hearing from the person. And then they don't know when they're gonna see them again. So it keeps them in a constant state of longing.
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And it reminded me of what I read about when I was looking at the way that psychologists have set up social media so that when you put something on Instagram, you won't get the like, straightaway what will happen is they hold them back. So you keep checking like what not wait, why did why isn't everyone reacting and then suddenly you get a dump? You go Oh, and and it what it does is it creates a sense of longing. It's the same
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thing. Yeah, it's connected to attachment theory.
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It's the attachment you know, how we are attached to our caregivers is really, really crucial. And if it's erratic, that's really confusing for that every child and then they they long for it and then it's gone and then it's really it's really destabilizing it can be really destabilize this.
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And and so is the overreaction. We can't overreact if the parent doesn't turn up when they said they were going to turn up. It's very, very hard, but like you said, try and think of anticipate that that might happen and think of ways that you could deflect the situation have other things Yeah, ready? It's
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a big ask for the other parent, you know, it's a really big ask and it's a big a big mountain tough to climb in zone days, like you know, you want them you want it you don't want your kid to be experiencing any of this. You didn't ask for this and yet it's really your you know, it's dumped on you. So I think it's a really, it's challenging, so hats off to people who are in that situation. And you
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know, it's just suddenly made me think if you have anyone in your life who is in this situation Give them a cheer when their coat, you know, just lights say Wow, you're amazing because just to give them a bit of a boost, because it must be you know, when you sort of don't get any praise.
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It's just time
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and it can also be tough to be like you mentioned it just before you know the one who's who's at home doing it all. And then the the sort of maybe have some sort of fantasy about the other parent and idolize them in a way. But that's, that's due to the attachment, the erratic attachment, because they we love our parents, however rubbish that we need. And that's all healthy and normal. But there's also this element of safety. So if you're the one who's at home doing everything, then you're you're giving unconditional love, the kids know that they feel it. So they're free and safe to, you know, hate you sometimes yes, they don't really, but you know what I mean? You know, be angry and you know, shove stuff onto you. But they're not safe, the erratic parent that's coming and going, that's that's not a safe space, they can't do that, because they might not come back. And that's so key. And so it can feel really offensive to be the one Yep, I'm doing everything and you. You want to be with them or you know, that can feel like our own our own egos get hurt by that. It's totally normal. But it's you know, it's really complex for the kid.
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And one of our listeners who is is is a man whose wife ex wife is an alcoholic was saying that what he's had with his daughters is that, as they grew, he gave them tools for having boundaries to say, you know, actually, I don't want to see you right now because I need to protect myself or you know, and it's really important to be able to tell them that it's okay to say when you want to see them to set your own rules about what matters to you. And he said, The problem was that when they were young, they could hate him. When she didn't turn up, they found it, they could take it out on him.
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But as they got older, they started to realize that actually, it was just between them and their mom that she wasn't turning up. And they felt more guilt for trying to put boundaries in place. But he said, one of the great things he did was to explain to them that those boundaries are an act of self love that actually it's all about saying to yourself, I really deserve this. Yes, I'm a wonderful person, I'm a good person. And I need to have these, these controls over my life.
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What a beautiful dad. That's amazing. Yeah, just to give because it's really hard. And the child always wants to hope as well, there's a massive element of hope for us, isn't there? Like, we hope that or if only, it'll be good this time. It'll work out this time.
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And you know, it's dangerous to be angry with that partner with that with that parent rather.
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Because they might not come back. Yes.
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And so staying on that what you can say to your teenager is challenging negative beliefs. So trying to replace them with positive self talk. So they may be feeling unlovable, first of all talking about so the older they get, the more they can understand what alcoholism actually is yes, and that it's an illness. And it's not that they're a bad person.
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It's that they're struggling with something, something that they've used to cure themselves.
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Mahane. And as this great philosopher I was listening to on the other day, one of his talks the other day, and he said, often, it's not treating the problem. That's hardest, it's treating the way that the patient tried to treat that problem. Yeah, alcoholism, drugs, whatever,
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then all numbing mechanisms, because we have some pain inside that we can't be with. So we try and get rid of it.
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Yes. So you can actually try and set up a mantra, I am lovable because you are capable and deserving of love and respect. So using these phrases on a regular basis, and, and and giving them opportunities, maybe if they want to journal, you know, on a just a day to day basis. I know a teenager who uses journaling all the time. Yeah, journaling can be great can it can or may not work. Yeah, they can voice notes on their phones, anything to kind of get get their thoughts out. Yeah. And
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I think sometimes we underestimate the this, these kind of the idea of sowing a seed because I imagine quite a lot of teenagers might go, What a lame thing to do. I don't want to tell myself that. But you're sowing a seed that maybe they'll pick up and think about when they're in bed or you know, when you're not listening.
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Oh, yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Like you didn't have to do it. Like just because
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they're not sitting down doing the things you've suggested doesn't mean they haven't taken it in. Yes. And
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tips for explaining that alcoholism. It's a real problem. And I dealt with it because my father was an alcoholic and there's a huge amount of shame. Yes. And it's you can say don't feel shame.
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It's not your fault, but it's really hard not to feel the shame because you feel connected to them and you feel like what am I doing? Let what is it about my family and this is my I DNA and so therefore I'm not good.
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And so trying to explain in more detail how alcohol alcoholism works, can help. Yes. And there's a National Association for children of alcoholics suggests using this mantra to help your kids. I didn't cause it, I can't cure it. I can't control it. I can care for myself by communicating my feelings, making healthy choices and by celebrating myself. And I will put that in the podcast notes because I think that mantra is amazing is amazing.
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I'm very, very helpful. You could have it on the wall at home. Yeah, just if they're struggling with some of this or they can just look at it and go, Okay, that's it's
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okay. You're right about the shame aspect because that's really toxic, isn't it?
00:25:43.259 --> 00:26:08.068
And it's shame thrives in secrecy. And there's so much secrecy of old with alcoholism, and it's by its very nature. And the more secrecy is the more shame has failed and shame dies when you when you speak about it in a safe space. Yes, you can't survive in that. But teenagers with alcoholic parents, that's that's probably not a very Invitational spaces. No,
00:26:08.068 --> 00:26:11.878
and it's a very, it's a very difficult one because I, my father was living with us, not away from us.
00:26:11.878 --> 00:26:38.278
Actually, if he'd been living away from us, I could have distanced myself from it. But when they're living at home, you can't, I just couldn't have any friends. I couldn't invite people home because you never knew what you were going to be dealing with. And it's a very difficult thing. So, you know, I know that we will have listeners who either lived with alcoholics or are living with alcoholics is a very, very difficult thing to live with very unsafe space.
00:26:33.388 --> 00:27:58.528
Yeah. One thing you can do is identify father or mother figures. And you know what one of our listeners, this woman said that she encouraged her son to take up rugby and cricket and to find other dads who were around who had a really healthy role model for them. Because what I think's amazing about the teenage years, it's it's the one time in your life when you have absolute insight into the way other people live. Think about that. So because I remember as a teenager, going round to other people's houses is the only time when they don't clear up. You sit around the table with people who haven't sort of fashioned a, an elaborate meal because they've got guests because basically, you're kind of hanging out in their house. And you go beneath the radar. So I I learned so much from going to I was shocked going to other people's houses, like the first time a man an adult man ever asked me how my day was, was in another person's hands. And I literally just scraped my knife across the plate, all the pieces and everything went everywhere, because I was like, oh, but it was great. Because I thought oh, oh, that feels nice. I like Nick and so you can if you can introduce them to other environments where they can get this kind of male, you know, role model or a female role model where where you think okay, that's that looks good.
00:27:58.559 --> 00:28:01.710
Yes. And show them that there other normals? Yes.
00:28:01.890 --> 00:28:06.869
And they'll they'll begin to crave their independence, they won't want Mum hanging around all the time.
00:28:06.900 --> 00:28:23.400
Oh, my poor wounded. So yes, having other people where, you know, and this mother said, I, you know, I'm not a psychotherapist, in the same way that I'm not a dentist, I can't fix his teeth, I can help him, but I can't. So she said, You know, when it was too difficult, then she would find someone who could Yeah,
00:28:23.430 --> 00:28:34.470
we should also shouldn't underestimate the our own power as just just in inverted comments or parents. I mean, that is can be the most healing space absolutely have to be a therapist to be good at that.
00:28:34.500 --> 00:28:59.400
No quiet. And just knowing that there are people in the community that they can rely on. So identify those people who seem to always be there. And just say, by the way, remember that person's always here. always hear that your granddad or your grandma or something or somebody that will coach somebody, they're going to be there. They might give you a bit of tough love, but they they care about you. They want you to succeed and you need to succeed because you're worth it. Yeah,
00:28:59.430 --> 00:29:08.609
yeah. And yeah, maybe the idea of that being a consistent person is really, really important when the other person is erratic. Yeah, consistency.
00:29:08.638 --> 00:29:14.098
Yeah, absolutely. That's pretty much it. Is there anything else you want to add to this point?
00:29:14.398 --> 00:29:31.318
Just buckets of love to people who are on that, because that's tough. It's really tough. It's horrible seeing our kids in pain and if you haven't caused it and can't do anything about it, and you probably got a whole load of triggering emotions all involved within it because of its nature, then that's that's a tough space. So yeah.
00:29:31.588 --> 00:29:52.828
So so anyone in your community who's in this position, go and give them a hug, give them you know, just something, take them out for coffee or something just so they have somebody will just be a listening ear. They want to vent just say, Hey, you can always call me and I friend of mine the other day I met the other day, she said that, you know, she needs to vent sometimes I said call me call me up and call me.
00:29:53.338 --> 00:30:48.449
I'll listen. Because I'm not I'm not involved in the situation so I can listen and go yeah, I'll be that person. All right, absolutely always do that. So I want to ask our listeners a quick favor. If you enjoy this episode, think of one person who might be interested or might benefit, text them now, this episode, or one of the episodes you liked, and ask them to listen to it. That makes a massive difference to people being able to find us on these search engines. You can leave a review, if you have your say minded on our podcast app or the website, which is www.teenagersuntangled.com. You know, the Apple podcast player is the one that really commands whether people find us or not, but it's a nightmare to find ways to review on it but even if you can just give it stars, lots of stars, that would help Yeah.
00:30:44.219 --> 00:31:03.989
I'm a bi pop up and down social media all the time. I also send out a newsletter so sign up for that on the website if you want Suzy has been doing more social media stuff for have Yes. And it's really interesting. Oh, I think so. Follow Susie on Instagram. Yes,
00:31:04.019 --> 00:31:06.359
I LinkedIn. Yeah, Facebook, any of those places.
00:31:06.359 --> 00:31:13.019
You can find all my links on my website. That's probably the easiest place which is, which is www dot a mindful hyphen.
00:31:13.049 --> 00:31:32.400
life.co.uk I've done a couple of videos and the abuse I get from my teenagers is actually really funny. Oh, no, I think it's hilarious. They repost it on our family chat. And I think Oh God, I hope none of my friends have seen this.
00:31:32.000 --> 00:31:56.660
The other day, one of my daughter's really close friends I follow. And I loved the pictures she had posted and I wrote something like fantastic pics, but I wrote pi x and my daughter gave me such hell for it, you know? And apparently the skull emoji so basically, you're killing me You're laughing laughing to death about it. She's like pigs pigs. Just don't try be cool.
00:31:52.369 --> 00:32:09.589
Don't Don't try and be cool. It just looks like well, I clearly do. I'm terrible at it. Anyway, also hit the Follow button because then you won't miss an episode. That's it for now. Bye bye for now.
