Sept. 23, 2025

Transforming difficult, disruptive kids into ones with purpose and connection, one farm at a time. 159

Transforming difficult, disruptive kids into ones with purpose and connection, one farm at a time. 159
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Transforming difficult, disruptive kids into ones with purpose and connection, one farm at a time. 159
Transforming difficult, disruptive kids into ones with purpose and connection, one farm at a time. 159

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover? We all want our kids to feel they belong and have purpose, but what simple things can we do at home and in schools that will help them develop what they need? In this interview you'll hear so many great tips we can put in place at home that will help our kids thrive. In 2007, Tish co-founded Jamie’s Farm with her son Jamie, a teacher and farmer. LINK: https://jamiesfarm.org.uk/people/tish-feilden/ The resi...

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Season 5

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

We all want our kids to feel they belong and have purpose, but what simple things can we do at home and in schools that will help them develop what they need?

In this interview you'll hear so many great tips we can put in place at home that will help our kids thrive. 

In 2007, Tish co-founded Jamie’s Farm with her son Jamie, a teacher and farmer.

LINK: https://jamiesfarm.org.uk/people/tish-feilden/

The residential visits for disadvanteged kids, who are disengaged or disruptive at school, give them experience of eating as a family around a table, setting aside their digital devices, and creating a structure for positive recognition of those around them. 

Since its founding, Jamie’s Farm has supported over 16,000 young people across six farms in the UK and delivered significant, lasting improvement to young people’s social and emotional health as well as school attendance and attainment. 

Tish has background as a foster parent and teacher, she went on to build a 30-year career as a psychotherapist, including working  with teenagers, families, and the supervision of school counsellors.

Tish Fieldon's 10 Transformative Tips for Parents and Teachers 

Understand the Teenage Brain

  • Recognize that teenagers operate differently from adults
  • Avoid logical lectures - they rarely work
  • Redirect energy positively instead of shutting down natural curiosity

Create Meaningful Connection

  • Have regular family meals together
  • Make time for genuine conversations
  • Practice "check-ins" where everyone shares how they're feeling

Limit Technology

  • Set clear boundaries with phones
  • Create phone-free zones and times

Prioritize Sleep

  • Ensure teenagers get adequate rest
  • Establish consistent bedtime routines
  • Understand sleep is crucial for brain development and emotional regulation

Embrace Nature

  • Encourage outdoor activities
  • Take walks together
  • Explore local trails and green spaces

Foster Purpose

  • Give teenagers meaningful tasks
  • Involve them in community projects
  • Help them feel they're contributing
  • Celebrate their achievements

Practice Positive Reinforcement

  • Focus on strengths
  • Give genuine compliments
  • Do "shout-outs" recognizing good qualities
  • Learn from positives, not just correction

Create Safe Spaces for Communication

  • Be authentic
  • Share your own experiences
  • Listen without judgment
  • Make conversations feel natural

Teach Life Skills

  • Discuss practical adulting topics
  • Cook together
  • Build confidence through practical learning

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

00:00 - Introduction to Jamie's Farm concept

01:31 - Origins of Jamie's Farm

04:35 - Arrival of teenagers First day activities Initial impressions and environment

07:53 - Daily Structure and Activities

12:53 - Types of teenagers referred School struggles Mental health issues Behavioral challenges

16:36 - Therapeutic Techniques

22:02 - Practical Advice for Parents and Teachers

29:45 - Transformation Stories

WEBVTT

00:00:02.759 --> 00:00:04.620
Rachel, hello and welcome to teenagers.

00:00:04.620 --> 00:01:27.859
Untangled the audio hug for parents going through the tween and teen years. I'm Rachel Richards, journalist, parenting coach, mother of two teenagers and two bonus daughters. Now this podcast began with me picking problems that I'm having or that you've asked me about, and then doing the research and talking about it with Susie more recently, I've been chatting with my daughters, because they're old enough now, and the feedback I've been getting is it's been fantastic, but I'm also reading a lot of fantastic books and meeting interesting people who I want to share with friends like you. So you may have heard of Clarkson's farm, and now you get to hear about Jamie's farm, a place that's quietly transformed the lives of 1000s of young people across the UK. It's not a concentration camp, it's not a retreat, it's a working farm, and it brings together vulnerable or struggling teenagers, many at risk of exclusion from school, and it gives them something they might never have experienced before purpose, belonging, trust and hope. Now, Tish fieldon is a trained psychotherapist who helped build this model alongside her son, Jamie, who's a former teacher to date, Jamie's farm has supported over 12,000 young people with impressive results. Schools report reduced exclusions, better behavior, improved mental health and stronger relationships. So without further ado. Tish, thank you very much for joining us in our

00:01:28.219 --> 00:01:30.859
club. Very nice to be here. Thank you for inviting me.

00:01:31.700 --> 00:01:41.680
Tish, can you start by telling us what inspired you and Jamie to set up Jamie's farm and how your backgrounds as a psychotherapist and teacher shaped the idea

00:01:42.459 --> 00:03:12.000
well. As a parent, you see what helps your children thrive and what they struggle with. And Jamie was a bright child who actually loathed going to school, cos all he ever wanted to do was farm. And he What I saw was he thrived on engagement, as did his brother and sister, and we were lucky enough to have what actually is more technically a small holding. But he managed to take on farming all the land around us, of people who weren't using their land, and he had over 60 and wow, time he was 14, and what I saw was that he was a young man who who really would get frustrated at school being asked to sit still, had massive physical energy, a drive to accomplish things, to have outcomes, and those are the things that I felt that a lot of children would benefit from. And having worked as a psychotherapist with teenagers and with families and with schools, I felt like the clinical setting of psychotherapy and the setting of school often was not going to bring out the best in children, and they needed a moment to pause and rewind and have a fresh start. And Jamie had gone into teaching given we didn't have enough land for him to, you know, be a farmer, and his father was very again, the idea of him farming, because his father was much more academic.

00:03:06.900 --> 00:04:34.220
And I think when my husband died suddenly, which was a tragedy, he fell a tree on himself, we had this big crater in our lives, and we, we just thought, well, let's do something positive to fill this big hole, and we've got this beautiful place that we live in with lots of barns and a bit of land. And he invited the children from the school he had been teaching at with Teach First. And the children told us this was fantastic for them. I mean, it was the results that that motivated us. It was the testimonials and listening to the children, seeing the switch around in them, seeing how well five days they thrived it and then it became, we've got to do more of this. So we said, well, clarity, we have six farms now worked with over 17,000 children, but we never thought that would happen. Start with it was, if you like, why not give this a go? And I loved the idea of what I would call therapy on the Hoon Fitz conversations that are reflective in a much more easy setting with like any parent, when you've got a third position, you know, like you're driving or you're going somewhere, or you're doing a task together, conversation flows more naturally. It doesn't feel as intrusive. No, for both.

00:04:29.660 --> 00:04:34.220
Wow, yeah.

00:04:35.000 --> 00:05:21.019
I love this, and it's it's funny, because I live in the countryside, and I drove out of London just on Sunday night through all the suburbs, and all I kept thinking was, well, how transformative it would be for any of these kids who have, you know, who've experienced this life, or who've locked into a negative situation, to just be free on not free on a farm, but be able to. To actually enjoy work and the farming environment. I've got so many farmer friends, and it's really, really, it's hard toil in some ways. But, you know, I remember a name in talking in her diary about how incredible it was when she was expected to work, when she was, I think, 1314, because her mum was very ill, and she said, all my worries have gone, because I feel I have purpose. I feel great.

00:05:21.079 --> 00:05:32.180
No, I think purpose is the big thing. That children are missing that sense of making a difference, of, you know, of having value and having outcomes that can be celebrated.

00:05:32.660 --> 00:05:54.879
Yes, yes, if something don't you or I feel better at the end of the day, for sure, at least I cracked that problem, or did that or made that happen, and in a day when nothing happens for children that they can feel, that they can take ownership of and feel a sense of pride for, I think they, too get frustrated and they don't feel good about themselves, yes,

00:05:55.360 --> 00:06:04.740
and I think school increasingly feels quite disconnected from real life. So Could you walk us through a typical five day stay at Jamie's farm. What would the kids be experiencing?

00:06:05.279 --> 00:06:46.420
Well, they'll arrive and the first thing they say is, oh, it stinks here. They score children. They have never left. The majority of our children have never left the cities. They've probably not been very far from their own homes. So their worldview is is very kind of London centric, or the other cities that they're living in. And what they immediately receive is that the people who are pleased to see them, our staff are highly skilled, but in transferring that sense right from the instance that we really pleased they're here and that they are, they get this very warm welcome.

00:06:46.779 --> 00:07:20.100
But right from the off, when they introduce each other, we ask them to say it, to introduce someone and say what they like about them, and an immediate switch, because between teenagers often, as you know, the kind of language is is quite negative, and Joshy, and it's supposed to be funny, but it's actually very cutting and wounding. So right from the beginning, we're modeling for them. This is a place where we value people and where we look after each other, and we look for what the qualities are in someone that you can celebrate.

00:07:20.399 --> 00:07:47.379
And then they they get to go out on the farm tour. That first day they come. They're in these all of our farms got these beautiful, welcoming, big spaces, barns with kitchens in them, where they can feel this is the hub of the home. And they get that sense of belonging and and overall safety, because the the comments they make, even on day one, is, I can't hear any sirens. I don't feel like, oh my gosh,

00:07:49.540 --> 00:07:52.480
we forget calms the nervous system, yeah,

00:07:52.779 --> 00:08:37.159
children who are hyper vigilant and men, that's survival, isn't it? But it's Wow, tragic that so many of these children, you literally watch them decompress. And from they're in small bedrooms, two or three together. It's very much group of 12. So they can relate with their teachers, two or three teachers, who can build relationships. And then from day two, they are in small groups, working on the farm or swapping over and helping in the vegetable garden or cooking or they're doing they get time to do one to one horse work. The therapeutic is woven in, almost in a very kind of invisible way.

00:08:37.460 --> 00:09:01.500
And we sit around that table that they eat at, so they'll get up. And the thing I haven't prefaced this with this, they have no phones, because right from the word off, we say, Oh, interesting with no phones. So those distractions that would normally keep them head down, looking at a screen, suddenly they're making eye contact.

00:08:56.919 --> 00:09:13.379
They're they're having time to notice who's in the group they are. We do check ins and shout outs in the morning, after lunch in the evening, and in that way, we're asking them how they feel.

00:09:09.539 --> 00:09:25.700
It's so simple in a family, we sometimes do I've got nine grandchildren, and all my kids live very close to me, and we go away a couple of times a year together, as well as often collect at weekends. Wow.

00:09:25.700 --> 00:09:58.120
Sometimes the kids say, Can we do a check in? And it's, it's their way of of grounding themselves and seeing who else is hearing, listening how they are. And then, importantly, they do shout outs, which is remarking on qualities that they've never noticed before in each other, like, I didn't know you were so brave or you were really kind or new, you know, the way you helped me up that hill I was really struggling for Wow, and that happens between adults and children, as well as child to child.

00:09:58.240 --> 00:10:04.019
So how do you how do you do. That, do you just say we do this when we're here?

00:10:00.659 --> 00:10:04.019
Or how do you instigate that?

00:10:04.259 --> 00:12:09.480
We just say, this is what we do. And if you have very if you're very clear in your expectations, it's interesting how they go, Oh, this is what they do here, because it's such a different setting. But equally, they get a sense that it is. We could do that in class. We could do that at home. Yes, you know what I'm interested in is everything being transferable, so that this experience that builds their confidence from the inside, and it's, it's like, they're like a plant, you're nurturing them so they've got a strong root system, so they you're building the confidence to say how they feel and who they are. And one of the things because the adults join in that authenticity, I think it's critical to children feeling accepted and seen, so that sense of family and belonging, if you like, round that table, and then they're out in those groups, working, and they're coming back with, you know, a sense of pride, and they're working in teams, and they're working in a way that people can thank them and congratulate them because they're contributors. And that's amazing life changing for a lot of children, and then, because it's woven in that they can talk about how they feel, if they're feeling frightened or they're feeling antagonistic towards someone, there's time to have the reflection. You know, there's, it's like, Okay, let's start where you are. What's going on here that I'm curious rather than judgmental, and I with the sprinkling of the positive and the understanding that we have of how their brains are. Instead of getting into lecturing children, which we know the frontal cortex isn't fully developed, it's literally, you're talking to a stone wall, because they've often put the barrier up. Very often, we're persuading them to be in a different place, so we're not where they are, which is in the here and now. That's how their brains are, and mostly the social brain, which is, you know, their antenna is, what?

00:12:05.940 --> 00:12:51.519
What do my friends think? You know, do they like me? Do they approve of me? And that is being fed that social conflict. So for me, the intervention was, it was accidental, if you like, we did what we did as a family together with these children, and now we do it across Seven Farms. But what I'm trying to do is we're trying to translate that back into schools to inspire teachers to build more of that relational practice and hit them a sense of agency. You know, they feel so disempowered at an age that they need to feel a little bit of I can make that transition to adulthood. I'm not so scared.

00:12:52.360 --> 00:13:39.019
I love this. I love it. It's funny, when I was a young girl teenager, I stayed at another girl's house, and while I was eating supper, the father actually asked me how my day had been, and I had never had an adult man ask me something like that. And it was transformative. You know, I think just taking somebody from one setting and just putting them in a really warm setting like yours, I can see how that would happen, because you suddenly go, oh, we can do things this way. And then with your ability to actually tease out their emotions and how they're feeling about something that's incredible. So what kind of struggles and challenges are these kids experiencing that leads them to and are they referred to you? Or how do they end up

00:13:39.019 --> 00:14:37.700
with you? Yeah, they come through, the school will select a group of 12 children that they think aren't thriving, and that will usually be a mix of children who are not engaging. They may be truanting, or they may be just switched off in lessons. They may have, you know, be feeling these children have got low level mental health issues. You know, they're quite depressed. A lot of children in this generation, they will choose some children who they are struggling to get a handle on understanding because they have, in some way, they are they've got special needs. So they may be ADHD and they may be on the autism spectrum, or it may be lot of these children with dyslexia feel a failure, and yet they're very bright, creative beings, as you know, and then a third of them will be children who are right up on the edge of exclusion. You know, the way that they show that life is not working out for them is that they're oppositional. They can be very difficult to manage.

00:14:37.700 --> 00:14:55.240
They can be the children who are appear angry, but actually, I will say, you know, an angry child is an upset child. What you know means it's our job is to help get alongside what is, what is driving the behavior?

00:14:50.799 --> 00:14:59.919
So, behaviors, a communication and so those children, you know, I had one teacher the the week.

00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:27.440
Four Easter here, the children were in in the courtyard here at the bath farm, and they were singing, and they were shouting together, and they were singing and playing and having so much fun, and they were really exuberant and loud. And this teacher said to me, I've never, ever heard their voices in school. These are the two he had chosen. Wow, they do not engage.

00:15:27.799 --> 00:15:48.519
And because some schools are so disciplinarian, and you, if a child doesn't have social confidence, of course, they just mumble and walk along the corridors in silence because they have to, and don't. They don't join in lunch hours, or, you know, there's so little free time in school because, you know, they're under so much pressure to push them through.

00:15:48.820 --> 00:16:34.580
Yeah, thanks them. And the children are saying to me, I don't see the point. I want to learn about how I'm going to cope, because they're quite anxious teenagers about the next step, aren't they? I want to know how to pay my bills, or what is tax, or how am I going to find a place to live, or, yeah, absolutely get a job. So I think we're missing hook doing that preparation as the adults you know, supporting them to face the next step and given, I think the most shocking thing I've heard this year is that we have nearly 2 million children between 15 and 25 who are neither in education or employment.

00:16:35.480 --> 00:16:41.440
And it's, it's heartbreaking. Yes, it's not working, is it? No, it's

00:16:41.440 --> 00:16:47.019
not. And actually, I mean, you're onto something really important.

00:16:43.179 --> 00:17:09.299
Because I think right from when my kids were 1213, they were desperate to sort of Scratch and sniff the real world. They wanted to be out there. They wanted to be working. But we hold them back because, you know, we have now have laws in place to protect children from being abused, and, you know, by worker situations, but those same laws are stopping kids going out and actually feeling purposeful. And it's really a problem, because they need that.

00:17:09.359 --> 00:17:10.079
They need that.

00:17:10.740 --> 00:17:27.680
And we could create it, you know, with if we had more open doors in a sense to community and a sense of involvement, I think for a lot of in the countryside, the children here say to me, did she Why do you say hello to everybody?

00:17:28.220 --> 00:17:31.579
And I was saying, Why?

00:17:31.579 --> 00:18:10.980
Because people are super friendly and helpful. And yes, you know, lots of them. And of course, in a city, there isn't that sense of connection often, but it can be created, and that's what I feel passionate about, supporting other projects to create that meaningful sense of, you know, where kids help people of the older generation or the youngest. They love it when they have to go into a primary school, or if it's a mixed school, you know, to help with their learning or help them in the supervisor playground. Or they love it when they get to do something that makes them feel good, isn't it absolutely agree?

00:18:07.859 --> 00:18:10.980
Um, so,

00:18:11.039 --> 00:18:38.480
yes, yeah. And I've been seeking out for my kids more opportunities to be involved in community operations, where they you know, and taking the skills that they have, which a lot of people, a lot of people on these things, are quite old, and they don't actually have some of the social media skills and things that our kids can bring or just, you know, boots on the ground. It's, it's very valuable, and it gives them that sense of, oh, I'm worth it. I'm, you know, something I can do is useful.

00:18:35.059 --> 00:18:49.180
And so, coming back to the therapy side of it, you mentioned a little bit about how you you unpack things. How does the therapy work in in the day to day setting of the farm?

00:18:46.000 --> 00:18:49.180
Well, we now

00:18:49.900 --> 00:19:53.920
have, sort of, we're talking about reflection and communication more than therapy, because I think it was given the children are already there for five days. And we have a bit we do a bit of follow up with the children, but we're not in the position to be their therapist. So what we do is we make each activity as therapeutic as we can, in the sense that they feel safe, they feel able to communicate, they feel that they can grow. And what we do is every child has a one to one session with our therapeutic co ordinator, which we just a walk and a talk, and they also have a session with the horses, and it's a moment where they feel that containment and privacy to reveal more of how they feel and what's going on for them, and we can then the end of the week, we do school support notes to try and help identify that for the teachers, what are the triggers and vulnerabilities of this child?

00:19:53.920 --> 00:20:01.920
What is the what are the things that they need to help them have the confidence to ask for help?

00:19:57.880 --> 00:21:03.660
To put up their hand to feel they can navigate the world at school, and so we're trying to help build that bridge, and those conversations that they have from our staff, who are all very skilled at facilitating that sense of safety and so openness with children. We find ways that we can to try and translate that into something that's tangible, that schools can less on and obviously understand why a child gets triggered by certain things, but with the understanding the teacher can be much more compassionate or helpful. And you know, so for now, now we're also trying to involve teachers in coming to have a sort of immersive piece of CPD with us in a purposeful way of looking at their own practice and how they can change their practice in school. Because amazing. We can't open up 100 farms, we wouldn't be the organization, but we can try and send ripples out, yeah,

00:21:03.900 --> 00:21:07.380
yeah, yeah, just, just so that people understand what is CPD,

00:21:07.740 --> 00:21:39.799
oh, sorry, continual professional development. So Gotcha. Every Yeah, every teacher is tasked with that kind of learning journey, and what they say is this has often been the most effective learning. They feel about how to be alongside children, because they've been immersed in it themselves, and can identify as humans their own point of contact. Because so often, I think teachers feel they've got to be quite robotic.

00:21:35.720 --> 00:22:01.200
And that's me kindly from my grandchildren, when I say, you know, tell me about the teachers you like. It's always the ones who show up as a person and share a bit of who they are, but over the whole space. But they're human, you know? Oh, they went this year and they had a brilliant holiday, or it was terrible. It rained all the time. But that's, that's narrative, isn't it? That's, yeah, relate,

00:22:01.199 --> 00:22:14.278
humanizes them in relation. Yeah, and wait, so you talk about the transformative power of this for teachers. And obviously we've got a lot of we've got teachers and parents listening to this.

00:22:10.019 --> 00:22:31.338
So what do you think would be the useful messages or the useful case? Because we can't all come to your farm. I'd love to come. Please invite me, but I What are the useful messages that you can offer to teachers and parents that really might help them translate what you're doing into an environment that they are operating in?

00:22:32.239 --> 00:23:30.078
I think every parent, if I, in retrospect, if only I had understood a bit more about the teenage brain, that would have helped. So how to not, you know, imagine that a four or five year old can be logically talked out of or into doing something. I think if and for teachers, for them to see that that kind of impulse behavior that's driven by that child is in the in the here and now, and that that is is not a bad thing. It's how do we direct? So I think, as a parent or a teacher, I think actually redirecting the flow of energy, but keeping it interesting and positive and relational, for me, is critical once you sort of make things just dry and dull.

00:23:30.679 --> 00:24:09.719
When to a three year old or a 16 year old, sure, it seems to me, you shut down a natural curiosity. But I would also say those three things at home, as well as at school, like bringing in the sense of purpose. You talked about that sense of there being outcomes. Okay, let's do this together today and achieve that, but then the feedback loop so that you do the check ins, you do the thank yous, the shout outs, you do celebrate. So love that working from positives, children learn through positives, not Yes, yes ones.

00:24:04.499 --> 00:24:09.719
It's not it's a waste of time.

00:24:09.719 --> 00:24:48.159
You are merely dumbing down the human being so that they might then explode, you know, out of frustration. Wow. So I think work with the positives and be authentic, because so many and I thought also actually would add to that, Rachel, I think this thing of boundaries and phones, because children are quite grateful to us, yes, yes, and someone else took the responsibility for them and said, okay, no phones. And it's not that they shouldn't ever have phones, but as adults, we've often stepped outside.

00:24:43.598 --> 00:25:19.078
From what they tell me is, you know, like on the podcast series I've just recorded with these older children trying to get glean, what is it that made the difference? You know, they're talking about. And. And the fact that they didn't have the phone meant they could have social contact, that they could be present, that they weren't hiding behind the screen, and then moreover, they weren't anxious about all of the things that phones, particularly girls, you know, all the negative feed.

00:25:15.778 --> 00:25:40.538
And that's the other thing I would say, is share your positivity. Because isn't it dull and difficult to have to always live with the misery of the world? You know that yes, yeah, the news feeds kids scan are based always on negativity and and I think they deserve to have joy. You know, brings

00:25:40.539 --> 00:25:43.599
back the fun.

00:25:40.539 --> 00:25:51.160
We need to, yes, and we need to, I think it's interesting because I've got girls and modeling how wonderful my life is as a woman.

00:25:47.440 --> 00:26:18.359
I know there are challenges, and I share my challenges with them, but actually, I think it's so important that we're positive about what the opportunities are, and, and, and we stop and enjoy the moment. It can make such a massive difference, even just sharing, you know, the whole sharing a meal together, yes, and how, how fundamentally important that is, and when everybody chips in, you know, how lovely it is that we are doing something together, because you always have meals together, don't you in on your farm

00:26:18.539 --> 00:26:38.180
food and meals are really critical, like, you know, they arrive often tanked up on Haribo and fizzy drinks. And it's not surprising that, you know, their behavior is very, very scatty. And then one thing we do is we try and help them see where their food comes from.

00:26:35.299 --> 00:26:44.680
We give them really good food that they cook. They get involved with it. They take away a recipe book that they've helped co create some of those.

00:26:44.680 --> 00:26:48.279
Oh, wow, that's great. And that's sitting around a table.

00:26:48.279 --> 00:27:26.779
And they so often say to me, when I go home, I'm going to ask my family, I'm going to cook a meal, and I'm going to ask them to sit down and eat. Because, oh, the majority of the children we see eat in their rooms, and they know, yeah, and they don't have much time together, and it's and the parents have kind of given up, because they're very stressed, often very stressed. It's really hard as an adult as well as His child, isn't it to keep everything going. So I think having those meal times and and making them joyful. And the other thing I think that families have forgotten how to do is games.

00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:44.559
You know, the kids here love we play board games, we play card games, we play other games. They love it when everyone joins in a game, because it's it's such a level playing field, and you don't get judged on whether you're beautiful or clever or whatever, yes.

00:27:44.619 --> 00:28:25.700
And then the game, the games played, and then it finishes, and if you lost, you have another turn. And, you know, it's a very I couldn't agree more, and I've, it's stuff I've learned as a parent going through this experience, and that actually we can It's so stressful because you're so worried about, you know, money and work and then making sure the kids are okay. And if we can boil it down to some very simple things that will definitely make a difference and make our kids feel, you know, their purpose and their importance. So just even playing games together, you know, one of the things I've been trying to institute is phones away by nine o'clock or, you know, computer devices, and then just do something together, yeah, just it doesn't,

00:28:26.179 --> 00:29:09.598
well, you know, that's the thing. When you say that, Rachel, it just reminds me the biggest thing here is these children sleep, and they do not sleep. Oh, yeah, and that's one reason they don't go to school, is that they've been up gaming till two or three, or scrolling or doing scrolling and sleep. I didn't know that as a parent, if I wound the clock back, I would have got my children to bed earlier, because I let them stay out very late, and I remember my mother used to say these children should be in bed. Now I know that the brain needs sleep, yeah, and that's that's how they download and can digest the day and come out of it the next morning. So, yeah, taking the phones away, letting them sleep

00:29:09.599 --> 00:29:21.079
100% Yeah, we have actually got some episodes on sleep. And how is the free fix? You know, it's like if you could give a tablet to somebody that was free, and that would make a massive difference to their performance. You do it.

00:29:21.680 --> 00:29:24.140
Well, just sleep. Get them sleeping.

00:29:25.460 --> 00:29:30.019
Fix nature.

00:29:25.460 --> 00:29:44.500
Actually, I didn't say yes. They love nature, and we underestimate what beauty does for children, sharing beautiful things spaces, nature's free, and for them to know it's accessible, yeah, yeah. And that is massively impactful on teenagers.

00:29:44.500 --> 00:30:13.559
Yes, absolutely. And interestingly, I walk around the fields here a lot, and, and I have mentioned to a lot of listeners, we you can get on apps like all trails and for free, and you can just wherever you are, look around for all the footpaths and go walking. Get outside and walk off, or get on a train or a bus or something and go to somewhere where there are in England, we have a green belt, which is there deliberately to give people green spaces that they can go and access, get a picnic, go and spend some time together.

00:30:13.980 --> 00:30:55.900
And what I found really interesting was I was walking the dogs the other day, and there's an area where it used to just be quite empty field, and what's happened is all the trees have taken over. They haven't been chopped down there. They're all fighting for space. But walking through that was one of the most special moments. And I suddenly thought this, this is what people talk about when they talk about tree bathing, yes, which just, you know, I was like, you know, and I think that we just touching the grass. They talk about how it just when the birds are singing, you hear the birds singing, how it just calms your nervous system. Because our we're designed to know that when the birds are relaxed, and we can relax and all that stuff that you're you're reaching

00:30:55.900 --> 00:31:33.079
into, yes, and and then they can, you know, whatever age child is they can play in nature, can't they? I took a grandson to woods at the weekend, and he built a den, and I just sat and watched him at one point and thought, I'm enjoying this piece. You know, I'd had 100 years like whore for a party, and I was in recovery mode, and being in the woods was recovery. It was. And same for Yes. Teenagers stressed about exams go sit in the wood and have a picnic. You know? Oh, I love that. Very special about it. Brilliant.

00:31:33.799 --> 00:31:40.579
Tisha, people are interested in finding out more, if they want to try and access your services in any way.

00:31:40.579 --> 00:31:48.400
I know, I'm sure you have a massive waiting list, and it's or they want to find out how they can model what you're doing. How would they get in contact with you?

00:31:48.460 --> 00:31:59.380
They can look on the website, and then they can get they can email me, tish@jamiesfarm.org.uk sadly, we don't work with individuals.

00:31:56.799 --> 00:32:54.039
It's really heartbreaking. We can't say to an individual family, yes, by all means, will have your child, because all of the weeks are group based, and they usually work most powerfully when they're children who will continue that social relationship. Yes, they come from schools, or they come as looked after children, or they come sometimes with a virtual school. But there is a there are adults who come with them who can transfer the methodology and continue it. But what I would say is, if you've got a child that you think would really benefit, then you should talk to your school, because girl, you know, the schools are really receptive to the this realization that this can change the course of a child's life. We have a lot of young people come back as teachers or as youth workers who came here as children, and they saying, it just changed my whole outlook.

00:32:54.220 --> 00:33:33.920
So persuade the schools or the groups and get a group together to bring with them, and it seems to me that the methodology is really important to share. So I got series of other things, like podcasts and blogs, and I've written a book which, although it's titled changing lives troubled teenagers or something of the sort. It's actually just for any teenagers or parents, because so often we get lost as a parent, don't we? I mean, it's very hard to be yourself, and I'm not doing a good enough job.

00:33:33.980 --> 00:33:42.759
Oh, 100% all the time. What's natural, isn't it, is that our children put their unrest and they're unhappy have been to us.

00:33:42.759 --> 00:33:58.900
And there's that phrase you know, as a mother, you're only as happy as your least happy child, and it it's we need pathways to navigate. So please look on the website. There's lots of things as films, resources. I really hope it's supportive in some way. To your list. Oh, it's

00:33:58.900 --> 00:34:01.319
absolutely it's wonderful, absolutely wonderful.

00:34:01.319 --> 00:34:10.139
I love what you're doing. Any just before we go, are there any stories of transformation that really stuck with you in the time that you've been doing this?

00:34:11.039 --> 00:34:44.739
Oh yes, lots. But there was one, there was one young lady who was, she was sort of that, I suppose, she was kind of classic in the sense that she was really on the edge of exclusion, and she was not engaging with school, and she was a big personality. And so often those are the children that quite intimidate others, and they're hard to like in that they're revealing. So with Adele, I remember we they she came and wasn't going to get off the bus. Eventually, she did.

00:34:44.739 --> 00:35:15.478
She wasn't going to do this. She wasn't going to do that. And then in the end, they had a height that on our Hereford farm, they go on a hike in the middle of the week. She was not getting on that hike. Long story short, she did. And she got to the top of this mountain, and she saw the view. And she was so she says, To this day, she's now a care worker. She's a room www, it's given so much to so many people. She said, I realized that I could do things I could.

00:35:10.798 --> 00:35:51.278
It went from I can't and I won't to I will and I can. And it was a new version of herself. And she went back to school, and the school really happy to support her, but what she'd felt was, like lots of children, she felt a sense of failure, and she masked in with this kind of callous out external, you know, I don't give a damn facade, but she's actually the most sensitive, lovely, funny, talented, interesting, human, and she's worked with us post, you know, coming to Jamie's farm, and we're still in touch.

00:35:51.278 --> 00:35:58.478
So we have lots of children like that, and it's wonderful to see what they're doing in adulthood.

00:35:54.818 --> 00:36:24.619
So for all of us, it's that, like you talked about that farmer who asked you how you felt? I, you know, my house, my model of my family was based on a farmer's wife that I knew, whose door was always open to teenagers. You all came and went, and that's what I was trying to do with my home. And now try and, you know, we have the same sort of feeling we hope we create across the other farms for more children.

00:36:25.340 --> 00:37:01.980
Oh, I have so much admiration for you. I absolutely love what you're doing. Thank you so much for spending the time to just explain it to us and give us some hope and some joy. If you found this episode useful, please send it to at least one person that you know. You can review it on your app. Or you can go to my website, which is www.teenagersuntangled.com you can review it there. Look through my blogs. Look for other episodes. I'm going to put some other episodes with this so that you can, you know, explore some of the themes we've talked about, and, of course, contact details for Tish, so that you can reach her that way as well.

00:37:02.340 --> 00:37:06.360
That's it for me. Have a great week. Big hug. Bye, bye.